Well boys and gi– I guess we don’t have any girls — I’ve discontinued accepting new legal cases, and what is left of my existing caseload should be resolved by the end of October. Would be nice to close the last one on 10/22, my birthday at age 69.
I don’t want to sit on the couch in my golden gears, but nor do I want to do legal work anymore, unless it’s to champion a cause I really believe in, like child protection. But how to do that? I’m too old to be a rookie prosecutor, and I don’t want to fight over scratched up Barry Manilow records in divorce court (related but separate and funny story). Maybe a forensic interviewer in child abuse cases, but the victims are usually girls, and the agencies have females conduct those difficult interviews so that the child doesn’tfeel threatened. Hey, maybe if I tell them I’m a woman trapped in a man’s body they’ll have to hire me to avoid a lawsuit, but … no.
My fantasy would be to play solo fingerstyle songs at clubs and bars during the main act’s break. (Developing a repertoire big enough to sustain a solo gig would take too long to develop, and I’ve always been either a side man or an intermission act by temperament. I’ve done the retirement centers/book fair singing gigs and not interested in that anymore.)
I’d like to have a playing partner, but … that’s another story as well.
Walmart greeter? No. I scowl too much.
Librarian? Yes, if I don’t have to deal with the noisy kids, the patrons’ annoying questions, or re-stock dirty books.
Farmer? Yes, if I can get someone else to do all the soil prep, seeding, fertilizing, watering, harvesting and marketing. For free. I’ll do everything else.
I could be a waiter, but I’d get fired for refusing to serve, say, the seafood platter with extra onion rings.
Customer: “I’ll have the seafood platter with extra onion rings.”
Me: “I don’t think so.”
“It’s not good?”
“It’s the best in town, but … I’ll bring you some steamed mackerel and raw carrots.”
“But I don’t like mackerel. ”
“Well then, enjoy the carrots.”
“You’re very rude! Harold, we’re leaving!”
[Harold] “Yes, dear.”
[Owner] “You’re fired.”
I think I’d better go practice my guitar. I’m glad we had this conversation.